


That Nobody Will Ever Know (This Death And Dying)

by elledritchhorror



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Medical Procedures, Multi, Serious Injuries, Suicidal Thoughts, and then we had family bonding time and it was sad and adorable, but it's okay he needed it for growth purposes, for more happy times pls be aware of:, hugs!, i poisoned my son, in depth warnings in the notes but pls be aware of:, lots of comforting!, naming of rita streams!, platonic smooches!, sadorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elledritchhorror/pseuds/elledritchhorror
Summary: "She hadn't seen the assassin until he was on top of them, but Ransom had. Ransom had seen it and stopped him from killing Vespa. By getting in the way."Nureyev is poisoned while on a job. This means two things: 1) he needs help, and 2) he can't stop talking. Sure would be a shame if he had any secrets he couldn't tell the family.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Peter Nureyev, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay, Peter Nureyev & Jet Sikuliaq, Peter Nureyev & Rita, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Vespa Ilkay & Peter Nureyev
Comments: 46
Kudos: 182





	That Nobody Will Ever Know (This Death And Dying)

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings and salutations, welcome to this hot mess! 
> 
> I wrote this in a haze over like three days and was entirely convinced it was terrible and then I sent it to some people and they said it was good so Dav, Jay, and Danny if you're reading this just know it's all your fault. And that I love you. And that the crime fam loves each other. You already knew that bit though.
> 
> Warnings for this fic include:  
> canon-typical violence  
> references to hallucinations/unreality/paranoia  
> serious injury (specifically a stab wound and, y'know, the poison bit)  
> mentions of suicidal thought  
> references to abuse of power in a medical procedure (NOT Vespa dw)  
> needles (for an antidote)  
> None of this is worse than canon really but it always pays to be prepared so if this isn't for you then I wish you a happy day and a better fic for your needs (and if by chance I missed anything pls let me know and I'll add it) <3
> 
> If you're sticking around then please enjoy, and check the end notes when you finish!
> 
> Title from There's A Ghost by Fleurie

There are few people that Vespa trusts. But there are fewer still that she trusts less than  _ Peter Ransom _ , the thief without a name and no history that he dares speak of. It makes her skin crawl to go on jobs with him no matter how skilled he is (and as distrusting as Vespa is, she does have to admit that he is  _ incredibly _ skilled, in fact that's part of the problem) so every time she returns to the ship after a job with Ransom she has to sit in her room and come back to reality.

It's that habit, that knowledge that she sees things that aren't real and sees them more often on jobs like this, that stops her from reacting as quickly as she should. Stops her from plying either of her trades as soon as she should. Stops her from doing anything other than watching the sickeningly purple knife slide deep into Ransom's gut and the quick return blow that knocks the attacker out cold in an instant. She hadn't seen the assassin until he was on top of them, but Ransom had. Ransom had seen it and stopped him from killing Vespa. By getting in the way.

Vespa snaps back into action just as Ransom slides to the ground in a crumpled, shivering heap. Vespa calls his name and snaps her fingers in his face but despite his open eyes he doesn't seem to be with her at all. The knife is still in him which would be good practice normally but the blade was clearly poisoned and she needs to get that shit out of him right now. She twists him around and yanks the blade straight out, avoiding cutting him any further, then stows the blade in her own holster where she can keep the poison sample.

"Buddy," Vespa rasps into her comms. "Buddy, Ransom's down we need an extraction  _ now. _ "

"Alright everyone abort the mission, Jet go get Vespa and Ransom, Rita I will be with you very soon." Buddy says into the general comms, then switches to a private line. "How down is down?" she asks. Vespa hisses through her teeth.

"He's been stabbed with a poisoned blade. I don't know what the poison is but he took the guy out and then fell over and he's not responding. I should be able to get an antidote in him back on the ship but I need to know which one." Vespa reports in as even a tone as she can manage.

"Of course, darling. Jet will be with you very shortly. Did you get the information?"

"No, and I can't leave him or he'll die."

"Not to worry, we'll find another way. Jet should be with you in seconds now, stay on the general line," Buddy says and then switches back. 

Right on cue Vespa hears the squeal of rubber on concrete and the slam of metal on stone, then Jet rushes into her line of sight. They rush Ransom into the car and despite having almost as many reservations about Ransom as she does, Jet floors it back to the ship. They may not like him, but that doesn't mean they'll let him die. Buddy should be proud.

It's around the time they get in sight of the Carte Blanche that Ransom starts talking, just his usual bluster. God, even when he's poisoned and half dead he still can't shut the hell up. Vespa ignores him and keeps the pressure on the wound while Jet carries him to the infirmary. Then she instructs Jet on how to stitch up the wound while she analyses the poison. The good news is it's something she has an antidote for, the bad news is that Ransom's gonna be damn near delirious for hours at least and not likely to shut up. He's also gonna be in a hell of a lot of pain. He should be already but Vespa hasn't seen any signs beyond a sheen of sweat and some quiet gasps. It's odd, but not her priority right now. She loads up a syringe with the antidote and jabs Ransom with it before he can even see what she's holding. He hisses again.

"Alright be ready to hold him down, the antidote's powerful but painful." Vespa says and Jet nods and watches. 

They wait a few seconds for the thrashing but nothing happens except that Ransom shuts his mouth. He breathes in, then out, even and deliberate. Then he flinches and takes in a lungful of air through the nose. He shows no signs of pain other than that. Just breathing. Vespa snaps her fingers in his face again, tries to get his attention but she can't.

They wait like that for a while, Buddy and Rita come in to see how he's doing and both of them seem just as freaked out as Vespa is about this weird pain response. She's seen people shut down when they're in pain but she's never seen Ransom do it. Then again, he's never been in this much danger while with them before. Buddy agrees to watch him now that there's nothing more for Vespa to do and Vespa is grateful for the chance to take a moment alone and get herself back together.

The first step is always to go back to her room and just sit on the bed for a little while. On her bed, in her room that she shares with Buddy, the safest place on the ship, she can think back and evaluate. She knows it must have happened because everyone else saw it too, everyone reacted to what was happening but Vespa still can't wrap her head around it all. Ransom took a fatal blow for  _ her _ . She can't imagine it. For Steel maybe, but for literally anyone else? Not that he's actually going to die but he couldn't have known that for sure. It doesn't sit right in Vespa's guts and she knows it won't be a good idea to be alone for long right now, so after a few minutes of sitting and manually relaxing her muscles, she heads out to the common area where Jet and Rita are.

* * *

Buddy returns to the infirmary to the sound of rustling sheets and a dull metallic clang. She rushes the final few steps cursing that her mechanical stomach is hooked up to a very much biological bladder and sees Ransom struggling to get out of the bed. He's got one leg over the side but he's leaning heavily against the railing and is breathing like a marathon runner.

"Peter, get back on that bed!" Buddy shouts before she can think better of it. 

Ransom jumps out of his skin, then gasps and hunches over, his knuckles whiter than pure light where they grip the rail. Buddy rushes over to help him but he wriggles out of her grip and she has to step back so that he won't cause himself more pain.

"You have to lie down, you're terribly ill," Buddy tries again. Ransom shakes his head vigorously.

"There was no one here," he says. His voice is pitched higher than usual with the strain though she supposes that's to be expected.

"I only went to the bathroom, darling. I was gone all of three minutes," Buddy placates. 

Ransom shakes his head again and shoots her a look that is just so plainly  _ sad _ that she has the sudden urge to wrap him up in her arms and never let him leave. Who says she has no nurturing instincts? She may be a thief with little use for them, but they do exist.

"Don't like it in here. Don't want to be alone," Ransom mumbles and Buddy feels her lips turn downwards without her consent.

"I'm here now, Pete," she tries, it doesn't seem to change anything.

"But what if you need to leave again? I don't want to be alone," he says again and Buddy wonders just how hard this poison is hitting him. He hasn't shown much pain at all which led Vespa to believe that he was suffering a relatively small dose of the poison, but the way he's speaking is like nothing Buddy has ever heard from him before. She should push him back into the cot and threaten him with consequences if he moves again but, well, Buddy does have a heart of a sort. She's not immune to it.

"What if I help you to the common area? You can't walk on your own, mind, but I can help you," Buddy offers. Ransom's whole face shivers into something resembling relief and he nods.

They shuffle down the hallway slowly. Ransom is shaking in her arms and she can see now that she's close enough to touch that he is sweating lightly all over. Every step causes him pain but he never falters, just keeps trekking forward towards his goal. Jet rises to help them as soon as he sees their approach and Ransom only allows a soft gasp to escape him when Jet picks him up and carries him the rest of the way to the couch.

Vespa is sitting on the floor, not nearly as tense as she was before thankfully but still apart from the others. Rita is in one of the armchairs and once Jet has placed Ransom down he returns to his spot in the matching chair that faces the first. Buddy sits on the couch with Ransom, near enough that he can reach out if he needs to but not so close as to give him no space. He sits up straight for a few moments, then the pain seems to get the better of him and he slumps into the cushions, curling his legs up underneath him and wrapping his arms around himself. The only one missing is Juno, who is still on his own part of the mission and cannot be extracted safely until tomorrow morning, even with their catastrophic failure today.

"Has anyone told Juno the details of what's happened?" Buddy asks. She has been entirely too preoccupied with watching Ransom suffer to remember to fill him in.

"I did Captain A. He's real worried but he ain't gonna let that stop him from doin' his job and gettin' home to us safe tomorrow," Rita pipes up, no doubt as much for Ransom as for Buddy herself. Buddy nods gratefully.

"Oh no, I didn't mean to worry him." Ransom says, his voice is hazy now, like he's speaking through a soap bubble and the film is distorting his words. "He worries too much about me already."

"That's okay Mista Ransom, Mista Steel is used to bein' worried about his friends, an' you're even more than that. It ain't somethin' to be upset by, it just means he cares about ya!" Rita says. Buddy is certain she meant to be comforting but she can see that it weighs Ransom further.

"I care about him too," Ransom says, almost to himself. Then he catches sight of Jet looking at him and Ransom grins wide and speaks directly to him, as though they had been having a conversation all along. "I love him so much. He's just so  _ good _ , and so caring when he lets himself be."

Jet nods seriously. Buddy thinks he may be unsure how to proceed here. She also thinks she may be projecting because she herself is unsure how to proceed. It's unlike Ransom to offer information about himself, even something so obvious as his love for Juno. Certainly he'll pepper little factoids about himself, or rather about his alias, into daily conversation in an attempt to join in, but he never says anything of substance. Knowing how someone takes their coffee or what kind of fashion trends they've explored in the past can be interesting and valuable knowledge, but it does not build trust and companionship on its own.

"I don't deserve him," Ransom says seriously and Buddy feels any comforting words she might have offered vanish in her chest. She wants to let Ransom speak, but she doesn't want to take advantage of his poisoned brain. She doesn't know what the right thing to do is. "He's grown so much and he's got so strong. I'm so proud of him." He trails off, then he looks to Buddy.

"I'm jealous, too."

Buddy can do nothing except hold Peter's gaze while he speaks to her. He is electrifying now, speaking openly with her for the first time since she met him close to a year ago. Juno told her once that Peter - the  _ real _ Peter - had a presence to him that felt like gravity, like when he spoke you were forced to listen because it was the only sound you could hear. She had assumed he was speaking from a place of love and infatuation, that it applied only to himself. Buddy Aurinko is not often wrong, and it is humbling each time she discovers she has indeed drawn the entirely wrong conclusion. 

Maybe someone asked Peter to clarify, maybe he just continued on his own. Buddy doesn't know because her ears are ringing so strongly that she wouldn't have heard either way. All of her focus is on Peter Ransom.

"I've always admired you, you know?" He says. Buddy does know. She cannot force the words out to tell him so. "When I was younger I heard stories about you and Vespa. It all sounded so glamorous and exciting and I wanted to be like you. It... got me through some difficult times."

"What does that mean?" Vespa asks. 

At the sound of her voice Buddy finds she can finally turn her head to look at her love. She has inched closer on the floor, now halfway between the armchairs and the couch, and she too is pinning Peter with a stare that shows her intense focus. Buddy cannot decipher the expression on her face right now. Nor can she tell what Jet and Rita are thinking when she looks to them. They look something akin to shell shocked if she had to guess, but perhaps she is still projecting.

"For a long time I was lost. I was living out of habit, and the thing that kept me going some nights, kept me from giving up on it all, was that maybe one day I would meet you. Or Vespa. Or Jet. You were like fairytales that I knew could be spoken to and it was the one thing I knew I wanted. It was like a goal I could work towards, something to keep trying for." 

Ransom looks at his knees and he breathes in sharply again, another wave of pain ripping through him. Buddy is struck by how small he seems. How for all that height he has no substance to back it up. He looks fragile. He smiles.

"Then I finally did get to meet you. Twenty years of idle dreaming and I got to meet you all. I suppose it's only fitting in the end that none of you liked me."

Buddy wants to say something. She does not know  _ what _ she wants to say but she feels as though she needs to explain herself. She has nothing to be defensive about, she knows. If Peter wanted them to like him then he should not have made it so clear that he was not being honest with them. Better yet he should have just been honest with them from the start. But she also knows that his lies are not born from malice, but self-preservation. She cannot help but sympathise. No, now she's lying to herself. She doesn't sympathise with Peter, she empathises with him. She knows exactly the way it feels to have to hide every flaw, every fault, and hope that the flashbang brilliance of a bold personality will distract and dissuade anyone from looking too deeply. She sees the sickly haze over his eyes, the feverish burn to them, and the shivering in his whole body as he tries very hard to keep still. He isn't hiding from them anymore.

"I know that it's my fault, too. I've been losing my touch for years now. I designed Peter Ransom to be the perfect teammate, someone likeable and reliable. But I put too much of myself in the persona. It was too close to me. It's no wonder it didn't work."

Rita makes a wounded noise somewhere. She has been remarkably quiet this whole exchange, and Buddy hears Jet shush her so softly that it barely makes a sound. Buddy is quite sure that if she turned to look she would see Rita crying. She does not look. Peter keeps talking.

"It shouldn't have mattered anyway. I wasn't even supposed to be here this long. The plan kept changing and the deadlines for the debts kept getting closer and closer. I was supposed to-"

"Peter, stop." Buddy says. 

Some protective instinct claws past the stunned blockage in her throat and she finds her words again. Peter looks shocked, then wounded. Buddy reaches out and places a hand on his knee, hot to the point of burning even through the fabric of his pants. 

"You wouldn't want to tell us this if you were in your right mind. You have to stop before you regret it. I fear you already will." Buddy knows Vespa will protest, but she doesn't get the chance. Peter does so first by shaking his head.

"I do want to tell you. I've wanted to for  _ so long _ now but I never have because I'm not brave like the rest of you. I keep trying to say something and it never comes out but now it is and I can't stop or I'll never say it and you'll never know all the things I want you to." 

He sounds like he's begging. Begging to be allowed to share his most guarded secrets. Buddy is torn now because she wants to know, and she knows that the others do too, but she is afraid that this is the insistence of a sick man and when he wakes up from this illness he will distrust them even more for taking advantage. But he looks so earnest, and the poison has taken some of the clarity from his eyes but none of the ferocity. Peter holds her gaze unwaveringly, and Buddy nods and hopes against hope that they will not regret this. He grasps her hand where it still sits on his knee and he pulls it to his chest. Buddy shuffles closer to let him hold tight.

"The people I owe my debts to, they made me join this crew. I didn't want to. Or, I did, but I wouldn't have. I knew it would go badly but I couldn't do anything about it because they have too much to hold over me and I thought that if I could just join in and take what they asked then it would all be over and no one would be happy but I didn't think it would be anything worse than a stolen mark among thieves. I knew it would be a blow to you if I took from you, and a blow to my reputation to have taken from you, but I thought that was the worst case scenario." Peter says. 

He is speaking faster and faster, like he intends to get as much information out as he can before whatever has stopped him speaking before slams down on his chest like a portcullis and cuts off any chance for further secrets to escape.

"I didn't know what we were going after, obviously, but I think they must have figured some of it out. When they asked what the big scores were going to be they didn't seem surprised by the answer. I thought it was a good thing. I thought we could steal the curemother prime and then I would take the tools and disappear and I'd be persona non grata amongst criminals for a long while but no one would be hurt."

Peter grips Buddy's hand tighter now. His skin is clammy and intensely hot, a stark contrast from his usually cold fingers. He holds her like she is the last lifeline that will keep him from drowning in his own regrets. Buddy squeezes back.

"They moved the deadlines closer." Peter says. He has lost the strength in his voice now, it is weak and quiet, an admission of something. "I thought I had it all figured out but they moved my deadline closer, until it was before the heist for the curemother prime." 

He shakes silently through another wave of pain. He is so pale that Buddy wonders that he isn't translucent.

"But that's fine, I thought, because I can lie to them and hold off for as long as possible. I... I knew I couldn't betray you. It was supposed to be the plan and maybe a better thief would do it still but I-"

Buddy tries very hard to stifle her shocked gasp when Peter begins to cry. She knows he never intended for her to see this, for any of them except perhaps Juno to see him so vulnerable. But he holds onto Buddy's hand so that she cannot let go, cannot leave before he shows any more of himself. He sobs once, then raises his head and pushes on.

"I can't do that to you all. I won't. I know that... that most of you don't care for me at all and that's fine. Really it is. But I care about all of you and I won't..." He sobs again. "Well I can't say that I won't hurt you because I don't know how to stop it. I've been trying for so long to figure out how to get my creditors off your trail but I just don't know how to do that. I'm not good enough to fix it."

"God I... I should be better than this. I spent my whole life making sure I was the best at every skill I could possibly need, making sure that I could outwit everyone around me so that no one would  _ ever _ need to get hurt because of me. Not anyone who hadn’t hurt someone else first at least. I killed Mag for trying to do something that would hurt innocent people but now I'm the one who's putting others in danger and  _ I can't stop it." _

Peter's tears are deep, gut wrenching things now. He is heaving his every breath and Buddy can no longer tell what's hurting him worse, the physical or the emotional.

"I thought about letting it happen. About just telling them no and letting them kill me." Buddy digs the nails of her free hand into her thigh at that. "But it wouldn't protect the rest of you. You're all so much stronger than I am but these people they... they have connections and power and size on their side and I can't let you take the fall for my mistakes."

Peter tries to speak further but he cannot take a proper breath anymore and it silences him. He tries again and all he manages is a strangled sound. Buddy comes to one very important conclusion then: she cannot take this anymore, and neither can he.

"Peter, just stop. It's alright, just stop now. You need to rest," Buddy says. 

She slides closer to him again and wraps him up in her arms, one hand still trapped against his chest, the other wrapped around his back and pulling him in so that his entire feverish body is pressed against her own. There is some shuffling behind them and then Rita sits down on Peter's other side and curls herself around his back. His head is on Buddy's shoulder now and he is weeping into her neck. Rita shushes him, not to make him stop but to offer comfort, and she strokes her hand up and down his arm. She is crying too, though she is holding herself together remarkably well. Buddy feels the burn of tears behind her own eyes and tries to hold them back.

The next few minutes feel as though they are spent moving away from a clock at the speed of light, but eventually Peter slumps all the way down, unable to hold himself up at all anymore, and Buddy finds herself with the head of a thief in her lap, her hands stroking rhythmically through his fine hair. Rita shuffles off the couch and onto the floor to give him a little more room to spread out. Even curled up as tightly as he is, he is still ridiculously tall and takes up most of the couch.

Peter makes noises in his sleep. All the while he was talking he kept them silent but now in unconsciousness he cannot hold back soft whimpers and sobs that seem to shake the room. Vespa comes over to them and checks his pulse, her fingers pressed to his wrist. Then she lightly brushes his head for his temperature and Buddy sees the way her hand lingers for just a fraction of a second before she pulls away.

"He needs to sleep in a bed." Vespa says eventually. 

Her voice is cracked and soft, nothing like the harsh tones that she uses to keep those she distrusts at bay. Buddy thinks about taking him back to the med bay and feels as though her skin has been sanded back until she is smooth and raw. She does not want to leave him alone again. She does not want to leave him alone ever again for the rest of her life.

“He didn’t want to be in the medbay. He was afraid of being alone.” Buddy protests quietly. Vespa looks at her with sympathy, but doesn’t budge.

“Just because he’s been awake and talking doesn’t mean he’s okay. He needs real sleep, which means a bed, and a room full of equipment I can use if things go south.”

“We’ll just have to stay with ‘im in there then,” Rita says. 

Jet nods his agreement and Buddy knows when to admit defeat. She leans back and lets Jet lift Peter from her lap into his arms. They all follow as Jet carries Peter back to the cot in the infirmary and lays him down as gently as he can. Peter lets out a breathy, pained moan, but he doesn’t wake.

“We can take shifts in here, but we all need some sleep too,” Vespa says. She is, however reluctantly, in doctor mode and she won’t take no for an answer.

“I will go first,” Jet says before Buddy can say anything. “I will wake you in three hours Buddy.”

Buddy sighs but accepts it.

“You can wake me after that Captain A. I’ll watch him in the morning,” Rita says with a yawn that looks like it could split her face clean in two. They all filter out then, except for Jet who settles in the chair by the bed. Buddy follows Vespa to their room and tries to mentally prepare herself for a fitful few hours of sleep. Vespa has her shoulders tensed and hunched up like she is waiting to take a blow, a sure sign that she doesn’t wish to speak. For once, Buddy feels the same.

* * *

Buddy takes the second car out to collect Juno the next morning. She does not often drive, but after such a tumultuous night she is looking for comfort, and collecting Juno herself will give her that. Besides, he can always act as her backup driver if she succumbs to her emotions. Again. 

She makes the journey to Juno's collection point just fine and sees him waiting by the street corner with his satchel bag full of paper files. Those files don’t feel so important now. He is playing with the strap to calm his nerves and ordinarily that might annoy Buddy, but she's been squeezing the steering wheel of the car for the same reason for the past thirty minutes. Juno gets in quickly and settles his bag on the floor, then turns to look closely at Buddy's face, scrutinising.

"He's going to be alright, darling. That's the first thing you need to know," Buddy says without preamble. Juno nods and waits for her to continue. His jaw is clenched tight and Buddy suspects he got about as much sleep last night as the rest of them did.

"He-" she begins and then stops because she does not know what to say. 

She spent all night awake and she could have rehearsed this but each time she thought about what to say to Juno, what to ask, how to make this all okay, she stalled. The truth is that Buddy is just as lost and hurt as the rest of them, and she has no more idea of what to do than anyone else. She is relying on Juno now but to do that she has to tell him what happened and in doing so she will no doubt cause him just as much pain and worry as she is feeling if not more.

Juno's hand comes to rest on hers atop the steering wheel and Buddy gasps. Then she does something she is still not quite used to: she cries. Not much, mind, Buddy is still very much in control of herself. But just a few tears fall and instead of pushing or snapping like he used to, Juno simply waits it out. She has done this for him many times now, it feels strange for their positions to be reversed.

It doesn't take her long to get back under control. She has been crying in short bursts like this all night and she has managed to figure out how to stop it once it starts. Still she appreciates Juno's touch and smiles at him to show it. Then she starts up the car again and gets driving.

"The kind of poison that he was dosed with, it causes a lot of pain, and a lot of exhaustion. It can also cause people to become much more forthright than they were." Buddy says. Juno twitches at that last point and Buddy knows he can tell where this is going.

"What did he say?"

"Rather a lot of things. Firstly he talked about how much he loves you and how proud he is of you for coming so far. A sentiment we all share, but I've never seen him say it. Nor have I seen him smile so genuinely before." Buddy says with a fond lilt. Then she sighs. "But he also told us a lot of things that make sense now that I've heard them. Including some information about his debts and just how deep in danger he is."

Juno sighs and nods. "He say who he owed them to? Or what he owes exactly?"

"Not to whom, no, but he owes them the tools for the curemother prime heist," Buddy says. She taps her fingers against the wheel, an old habit that she has long since shaken except for in her greatest moments of stress. "Juno I don't think he will ever be able to repay these debts even if he were to betray us."

"But he wouldn-"

"I know, darling. He told us as much."

"And you believe him?"

"Yes. I believe him. He... Juno, he thinks he's failed because he's been caught in a terrible position by people who have no intention of letting him free no matter what he does for them. More than that he seems entirely convinced that he must face them alone. I- well I'm not sure what to do here. I want to help, and I will, but I do not know how to."

Juno takes a moment to think it through. Buddy uses that time to get them on the highway out of town and floor it. She wants to be home as soon as possible. There is a sinking feeling in her guts that something will go horribly wrong if she is not there to guide it in the right direction.

"I don't really know how you can help him either. He doesn't even let me do it most of the time and when he does it's always about personal things, not his debts. He loves you, but I don't know how much he's going to be able to let you help him. He uh... he had a bad experience with a parental figure before and-"

"Was that Mag?"

"He told you about Mag?" Juno sounds completely floored.

"He said he killed Mag for hurting someone on a job. That's all he said, but given that he’s never mentioned a name from his past before I can make an educated guess."

"Mag was going to kill a whole lot more than just 'someone'," Juno mutters but doesn't elaborate. Buddy doesn't ask him to. If it becomes important she thinks maybe she can just ask Peter. "But yes, Mag is who I meant."

"Whoever this Mag is I would have a few choice words for him if he were still alive. Whatever lessons he instilled in Peter cannot be healthy. I thought you were my only concern with the self-sacrificing trait but it seems that Peter has been considering something similar in order to resolve the debt problem and the only reason he gave for not doing it was that it wouldn't actually save us."

Juno sucks in a breath through his teeth. Buddy feels the tension behind her eyes again but she manages to hold off the tears this time.

"Whatever is happening we need to help him. I just want to know how to do that," Buddy reiterates.

"I don't know how. I guess it's going to depend on what he remembers and how much he's willing to share," Juno says, somehow determined and defeated at the same time.

"Well he'd better be willing to share enough to let us help because I refuse to leave this alone now that I know how much danger he's in," Buddy says firmly.

"You and me both."

* * *

Jet sits in the driver's seat of the Ruby 7 and thinks about worth. He thinks about how there are many things in the galaxy that have an immense monetary worth despite being arguably unimportant. He thinks about how many things have great sentimental value, but do not have any monetary worth to speak of. He thinks about selling the Ruby 7 to afford Buddy's surgeries and he thinks about Peter Ransom's debts and how much money the Ruby 7 is worth and how Peter Ransom did not sell the car. But he did agree to turn it over to Jet. For free.

He wonders if Peter Ransom intended to leave the Ruby 7 with Jet when his debts were repaid in the first iteration of his plans. He wonders if that matters at all now.

Seeing Ransom break down the night before was... harrowing. Jet knows that it must have been worst for Buddy, who cares for Ransom a great deal despite his many frustrating traits. She does not trust him completely, but she does like him, perhaps even loves him. To see him hurting in such a way must have been a terrible experience for her. But, Jet thinks, it was difficult for all of them.

The things that have characterised Peter Ransom for Jet have largely been annoyances or perceived incompetence. Thus far he has seen a man who is prone to exaggeration, makes mistakes on jobs, is equal parts underfoot and nowhere to be found. He is needy, and he tries very hard not to be. It had not occurred to Jet until last night that perhaps Ransom has been so needy on this ship because he has not received what he needs. That perhaps the reason he is only close to Juno is because Juno is the only one who is providing something in return. The thought is unsettling.

When Jet is in need of comfort or help, he goes to Buddy or Rita. They each have a very different and strong personality, and each of them offer a perspective that he needs when his own fails him, and he knows that should they need something in return they would come to him. When Vespa requires something she comes to Buddy or himself. Juno has built a bond with everyone on the ship, including Ransom, but he is the only one to have managed it.

When Ransom has injected himself into conversations and gatherings in the past, Jet has always assumed it was to achieve some end. That he chose that time and that place specifically so that he could gain something without offering anything in return. Over time those advances slowed, and then stopped, until Ransom only really spoke to Juno and Rita. Jet knows that Ransom will come watch streams with Rita sometimes, but he has not tried to watch them when she has invited anyone else in quite some time, and he does not speak of anything important with her when they do spend time together. Jet had thought in the past that this pulling back was because Ransom had finally learned that he could not get anything from the rest of them without first showing that he was trustworthy, or giving something in return. Now he thinks perhaps what he hoped to give, and to gain, was companionship; and after so many times turned away he has learned that they do not want him.

Jet feels a swell of shame to think that, at least on his part, that is true. He does not have to be Ransom's friend. But he has assumed the worst of him for a long time, and he thinks now that maybe Ransom would have found an answer to his debts, and been able to show some trust, if he had ever been shown any genuine care from the rest of them. He cannot speak for all of them, but Jet is realising that he has always expected Ransom to make the first move into a deeper relationship, and that he has not trusted any move Ransom has made. He has, unwittingly, created an impossible scenario. He does not owe Ransom anything, but he is uncomfortable thinking about what he has made up of the man in his mind. He has always thought that Ransom did not wish to be genuine. He has never considered that perhaps he does not know  _ how _ to be without help. Jet is considering it now.

The morning is slowly creeping onward and Jet is about to attempt to sleep when he hears Vespa shout. Jet rushes to find her, concerned by the clear distress in her voice. He finds her in the hallway just outside the infirmary. Rita is there too, her hair in disarray and a deep line pressed into her cheek, likely from resting on something for a significant amount of time.

"Rita fell asleep and now Ransom's gone, we gotta find him," Vespa says. 

Jet can hear the fear in her voice. He cannot yet tell if she is afraid  _ of _ Ransom, or  _ for _ him. Right at this moment it does not matter. Jet does not stop to calm Vespa's nerves, or to console Rita who looks as though she is seconds away from tears. He will attend to it later if it is still needed, but right now he has no time. Right now he must begin the search for Ransom. Jet turns back the way he came from and hears Vespa do the same.

Jet checks the kitchen briefly but clears it after a moment's glance. Then he moves further down the corridor towards the personal quarters. He does not check everyone's bedrooms but he does stop to clear the bathroom. Then he moves on to the room next to his own. Jet knows he has found Ransom before he sees him. Laboured breathing can be heard through the door, Jet does not knock.

Ransom is sitting on the floor of his room. More accurately, he is on his knees and doubled over in pain, a bag on the ground in front of him. The bag looks half full already, but Ransom appears to have reached his limit. Jet can see he is aware that he's been caught but can do nothing about it.

"I have him! He is in his room!" Jet calls down the corridor. 

He knows that when he raises his voice he can be heard almost anywhere on the ship, he trusts that Vespa and Rita will have heard him. With any luck Buddy and Juno will be back soon. In the meantime it is up to Jet to help, so he takes the two steps over to Ransom and lifts him as gently as he can, then places him on the bed in what little free space there is. Ransom does not fight him, though Jet thinks he probably couldn't even if he intended to. He is sweaty and shaking. If Jet were to guess, he would say that Ransom is in even more pain than the night before.

Ransom tries to speak but he is hit with another wave of pain that hunches him over. Jet does not know whether to offer him comfort or let him ride it out on his own. He opts for placing a hand lightly on Ransom's knee, knowing as he does now that Ransom finds it almost impossible to ask for help, and that an offer may be most useful. Ransom does not seek anything more, but he does not push Jet's hand away either.

* * *

Buddy and Juno arrive back at the Carte Blanche just around the time that Vespa was about to clear the garage and search elsewhere. Buddy can see immediately that Vespa is tense, worried, and it makes a spike of panic shoot up Buddy's throat. Thankfully Vespa only gets halfway through explaining the situation before Jet's voice rings through the halls to tell them that Peter has been found. 

They all rush to Peter's room and Buddy finds herself shoved slightly to the side by both Juno and Vespa as they rush into the room, one to offer comfort, and the other to check his vitals. Jet is standing by the bed having also been pushed aside by the other two. Rita arrives a moment later and suddenly they are all crammed into the single bedroom. Buddy is sure that, under normal circumstances, Peter would be squirming with anxiety and doing his best to hide it if everyone else came into his room. Particularly without permission. Now he simply shakes in Juno's arms and allows Vespa to poke and prod while she confirms that he is indeed still fighting off the poison and won't drop dead at any second. Once Vespa has declared him still unwell but not at death's door, Buddy clears her throat.

"Peter, what the hell do you think you're doing in here?" She asks. 

Her voice is sharper than she intended. Shakier too. Peter flinches and Buddy wants to smooth her hand through his hair like she did a thousand times last night but Juno has it covered already. Buddy will apologise later.

"With all due respect Captain I think it's rather obvious what I was doing. Or trying to do," Peter says. 

His tone is edged just as sharply as her own was, but he cannot get any power behind it, breathless and wounded as he is. The effect is heartbreaking, Buddy has no problems admitting that. She's clearly not the only one affected. Rita moans a quiet  _ no _ from beside her.

"And why are you doing that?"

"I am well aware of my... indiscretions last night. I remember telling you about my debts, and how I came to be on this ship in the first place." A pause as he hisses under his breath and squeezes Juno's hand. "I understand you cannot keep me on board after that so I was trying to ensure that I had everything ready before we reached Ganymede tomorrow."

Buddy's insides go cold. "You think we're dropping you off?"

"Well, I suppose I had hoped... that you might let me go instead of locking me up," Peter whispers. 

He is afraid, Buddy realises. Scared completely shitless if she can judge it. Buddy's in good company then.

"Peter no one is locking you up. And how do you propose to leave in your condition? You can't expect this poison to be fully cleared up by tomorrow, you'll still need medical attention even once the poison is gone."

"I can manage. It's only pain, nothing that can't be overcome."

"Well that's an attitude I don't enjoy hearing, although I suppose after the things you said last night I'm not surprised," Buddy begins. She takes a deep breath to stem the tide of tears but she does not entirely succeed. 

"I don't think leaving tomorrow is a good idea Peter. Then again I don't think you should leave at all. Perhaps it's selfish of me to ask you to stay after all that you've been through, but the truth is that if you leave then I will lose at least two of the people I have come to love more fiercely than I ever thought I was capable of outside of Vespa and I don't know if I can bear it."

Peter stares at her, lost and pained and so very confused. He doesn't speak. Buddy doesn't know if it's because he does not know what to say or if he simply cannot think of anything. Juno shuffles further into his space and wraps his arms around Peter's waist, a thumb stroking across his hip bone.

"I don't..." Peter starts, but cannot finish. Buddy decides this calls for some leadership.

"Alright, everyone find somewhere to sit, we need to have a talk," she says and then perches herself on the edge of the desk.

"Hey, don't you think we should wait until Ransom's feeling a little better? This isn't exactly the best time for a family chat," Juno protests but Peter puts a hand on Juno's to shush him.

"I need to know what's going to happen," he murmurs. Juno hesitates but nods.

The rest of the family settle around them. Vespa picks up a stack of papers and a tablet off the desk chair and places them on the ground so that she can sit. Jet pushes some of the clothes further up the bed and finds himself a seat at the edge, while Rita gives up on any chance of a proper seat and just takes a pillow that has been tossed off the bed at some point and settles on the floor. They look like they're picking through the wreckage of a disaster. In a way they are.

"What-" Peter starts, then has to hold himself together for a moment. Vespa shifts but doesn't get up just yet. "What exactly is your plan if you don't want me to leave?"

"Well ideally I want to help you with your debts," Buddy says.

"To what end?"

"What do you mean to what end? That is the end. You need help, we want to help you."

Peter frowns, frustrated. Buddy doesn't know what he wants. Juno seems to have it figured out though.

"Baby, we want you to stay. You're part of the family," he says. 

His voice is so very soft and Buddy takes a moment to once again be proud of the work that Juno has done on himself. When she first met him she was impressed with his skills but knew he was a deeply troubled lady. Now after months of work and effort, and learning to rely on others, he is capable of such gentility that it makes Buddy wish that Sarah Steel could be alive for just a moment to see it. Just long enough for Buddy to say  _ see? you didn't break him, he was never yours to break _ .

"But...  _ why? _ " Peter asks. "I've never been a part of this family. It's always been... separate from me."

"That's not true," Vespa snaps. Peter startles, then gives her a confused look. She growls and continues. "Look, I didn't like you because I couldn't trust you. For all I knew everything about you was a damn lie and you could have betrayed us in the end."

"And what I said last night makes you think that's  _ less _ likely now?" Peter asks, breathless and shaking.

"Yeah, moron, it does. You told us that was the plan and now it  _ isn't _ . And you told us the truth for once. I still don't like you, or I guess I don't even  _ know _ if I'd like you or not, but with this... now I know all those signs weren't in my head, and it wasn't in my head that they went away. If you're tellin' us the truth, and I think you are now, then it doesn't even matter if I like you or not. You're one of us."

"You have been a valuable part of our work ever since your arrival. Your methods have not always been something that I considered rational, but there is no doubt that they have worked for us.  _ You _ have been integral to this family unit many times, even when we have not been open to you," Jet says slowly. "And with the benefit of your words last night I now believe that our differences come from misunderstanding, rather than incompatibility." 

Buddy makes a mental note to talk to him about the guilt in his voice. She wonders if he is thinking similarly to her.

"Mista Ransom, you're my family. You been real good to Mista Steel an' you make him real happy an' you're the only one who lets me put on whatever an' just listens the whole time while I talk an' I noticed. I ain't been able to figure out how to be that nice back to you 'cause I don't know what you need but even if you ain't part of the big crime family that Capt'n A set up, you're still family to me," Rita declares from her seat on the floor.

"And make no mistake, Peter, you  _ are _ part of the family I have assembled. There have been times where we haven't all seen eye to eye and I am only now starting to understand how much that has affected you, but you are one of us. That is not in dispute," Buddy finishes.

Peter looks at them all in turn, his face is pale and open, his expression looks something akin to awed. Or it does until the pain hits him again and Buddy is reminded once more of the other salient detail of their talk last night.

"Now that we have sorted that out, darling, I think we need to discuss something else. You need to tell us about your debts so that we can help you solve it."

There is a moment where Buddy thinks that Peter will refuse outright. That all of their reassurances mean nothing to the towering weight of his past and his fear. Buddy waits on the precipice of this fall and hopes to the high heavens that they do not topple over the edge into failure, especially not now that they have finally come so far. She forgets, until she sees it, that a cliff's edge is much less dangerous when someone with surer footing reaches out to hold on. Juno has been shockingly quiet throughout this whole exchange, letting them all voice their concerns and their care, but he is still present, and he speaks now.

"Listen, if you want to tell them or not, that's up to you. But I'm helping you through this no matter what."

"Me too! I can do a lot ya know, especially with accounts and things!" Rita chimes in.

"It's... there's not so much to do with accounts. It's more about information," Peter says. He is nervous, Buddy can see that clear as day, but he is telling them the truth without the influence of a poison-addled brain. "I had a... well, a medical concern. Nothing that's relevant anymore but it was life-threatening, and I was somewhat desperate. So I found someone who could fix it and..."

"And?" Vespa prompts when Peter stalls. 

He looks ashamed, he is curled up on himself almost completely and his face is angled down, away from where anyone could see him clearly. Juno shifts to hold him tighter, and Jet reaches out to place a gentle hand on Peter's ankle. Neither is pushed away.

"I needed surgery, and when I was under anaesthetic the doctor took various tissue samples on the orders of the people funding the operation."

"Who's that?" Vespa asks.

"Capital Health. They’re a fairly small and very…  _ underground _ type of medical loans company. I didn't want to go that route but I was running out of viable options fast. It turned out to be a poor choice because they used those samples to-" 

Peter cuts himself off as he tenses all over. He makes no sound but it is clear that the pain is increasing, or that he is losing his tolerance for it. Buddy supposes it amounts to the same either way. Juno finishes for him.

"They figured out who you are," he says, livid. 

There is no trace of question in his voice. Buddy suffers a spike of adrenaline so potent it could have knocked a lesser woman off her feet. If Peter has spent so much time and energy ensuring that his name never gets out to anyone, including those he cares about most, and the people he owes his debts to have found it out, then he is in much more danger than she thought. After a minute the pain seems to lessen for Peter, and he continues.

"They did. Then they threatened to send that information to Dark Matters if I didn't cooperate. Needless to say the amount we agreed on for my procedure increased after the fact."

"How do you know that they ever intended to let you go at all?" Buddy asks. It is, perhaps, a harsh question, but an important one.

"I didn't. But for a while it worked, I was able to make the payments they demanded on time and not much changed except that I didn't get to keep what I stole. But this time they said it was the last job."

"And you believed them?" Vespa asks, incredulous.

"I wasn't sure what to think. I thought I'd have time to figure it out," Peter says and Buddy flashes back to the night before and Peter's insistence that he was a failure for not puzzling out the thinking behind a faceless corporation with ties to Dark Matters. As if that were something one man could be reliably expected to do.

"Darling, I don't think they ever intended to let you go," Buddy begins softly. She has a theory and it may be the wrong blow to dish out right now but they are all relying on honesty. "I think they decided that what they'd get out of this job would be worth us killing you when we found out what you'd done."

Peter nods. Buddy realises that he has already considered this possibility.

"I wonder if perhaps they knew what it was that we intended to do with those tools. If they hand out loans for medical procedures then it's entirely likely they knew all about the curemother prime and hoped to muscle in on a way to get the edge on the mega-pharmacorps. Which would explain moving the deadline up to before we could complete our heist." Buddy continues. 

She is speculating now, and not even in a particularly helpful way as she has no research to back any of it up, but it feels so good to have a lead after last night that she cannot help herself. Her thoughts are interrupted by Jet, whose silence has given nothing away, but whose dark expression tells a story.

"Regardless of their intention for the tools, we should take them on. If we cannot erase Peter's debts then we can erase the contract altogether," Jet says. 

He is determined, Buddy can see, and she knows he won't be swayed from this path easily. Not that Buddy will be trying to.

"I agree, my dear one. We cannot allow this blackmailing to continue."

"Yeah, these assholes have got it coming and I for one am looking forward to the takedown," Vespa agrees.

"We'll get 'em! Then they can't do nothin' like this to anyone ever again!" Rita adds.

"Well at least we have a plan now. That's been bothering me for months," Juno says, the final voice in favour. Peter gapes.

"But- you can't do that. What kind of reputation will that give you? Even with all of your background this could ruin your chances of working with so many of-" Peter babbles but Jet does not let him get too far.

"There will be no great blow to our reputations if we make clear that this is retaliation for blackmail and subterfuge. Even if that were not the case, it would still be worth the effort. Those who prey on medical debts are a scourge on this galaxy, and none of us have any intention of allowing this to harm you any further than it already has."

"Well said," Buddy beams.

There is silence for a few seconds that draw out long past their natural conclusion, then finally the tension breaks and Peter blinks. Then he blinks again, and a tear falls across his pale cheek. The effect seems to be startling for him because he reaches up to swipe it away as though he hopes he can avoid anyone seeing it. Out of sight, out of mind seems to be one of Peter's great tactics in life but it will not work here. He is seen now, by all of them. He seems to realise this because the next tear to fall does not get the same treatment. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. There is nothing he can say. Instead he lets the tears come, and that is the cue for the rest of the family to move in.

Juno wraps himself further around Peter so that he is clinging all down one side and his mouth rests on Peter's temple. Rita shoots up off the floor like a flash and slots herself in on Peter's other side. She links hands with Juno over Peter's hip and he slides a little further down onto the bed in response. Jet shuffles over a little and tightens his grip on Peter's ankle, and Buddy perches on the very edge of the bed at Rita's feet and reaches out to take Peter's hand. He squeezes tightly, though not so tight as to hurt. Peter looks up over Buddy's head and she turns around just in time to see Vespa come closer and give him a decisive nod. She places a hand on Buddy's shoulder, part of the group but not quite touching like everyone else.

They all take a moment to be close and to let Peter's tears die down, but the moment has to end eventually and Vespa is the one to call it.

"He needs to sleep more. Especially since he messed himself up coming in here and trying to pack up," she says.

Buddy stands and moves aside so that Jet can follow suit. Rita is a little more reluctant but she pulls away after a moment's hesitation. Buddy hears Juno murmur something to Peter and get a response but she doesn't hear the words. The relief she feels when Peter simply settles into Juno's arms and rests his head on the lady's shoulder is enough to make her heart whir faster and vibrate softly against her ribs. Jet and Rita leave first, then Vespa pulls ahead. Buddy looks back at the two on the bed, sees Juno mouth out  _ thank you _ and blows him a kiss in return, then she flicks off the light as she leaves.

* * *

When Nureyev wakes up again he stays still, keeps his breathing even, and takes stock. He feels bruised all over but the waves of agony that had swept him downstream for the last two days are gone. His head is clear, his veins are clean, and he stretches out on the bed to let some of the tension loose from his muscles. He notices idly that the clothes and toiletries he had placed on the bed before he was caught making his grand escape are gone. The bed is clear of everything except the sheets and himself.

Eventually he sits up and takes a moment to savour the ache in his bones and just how  _ dull _ it is. He feels like he performed an unusually strenuous workout, or perhaps a difficult heist with lots of climbing, but he has control. Nureyev slides off the bed and moves over to the desk. There is a mirror installed, turning the desk into part workspace part vanity, and he sits down and inspects his reflection. None of his makeup has survived the ordeal. After all that sweating he would have expected most of it to be gone anyway, but his skin is so clear and his eyes and lips so completely free of colour that he suspects Juno may have had a hand in it. The thought of someone removing his makeup would have terrified Nureyev scant weeks ago but now he only feels a rush of warmth in his chest to think of Juno gently wiping away the grime without waking him.

Nureyev has no energy yet to shower or really do any part of his usual routine, but he does find the motivation to strip his sweaty clothes and slip into a pair of shorts and a soft camisole. He spares one last thought for his face, free of cosmetics, before he discards the idea. It is too much delicate work in his state, and the others have seen much more significant flaws by now than a few freckles and lines.The fears about aging and losing his looks will return later no doubt, but for now he is too tired and too full of Juno’s reassurances to care. 

The walk to the kitchen is slow but oddly satisfying. The hallway floor is cool underfoot and it helps to pull Nureyev from the overheated sensation of a recent fever. When he sits at the table Juno turns around and smiles at him, sweet and bold, and Nureyev's heart shuffles a few beats out of order. He smiles in return and mutters a soft thank you when Juno places a mug of coffee in front of him. They share a comfortable silence for a few minutes, not needing to say anything more after the confessions and reassurances of the last few days. It must carry over into the presence of the room because when Rita arrives and hugs Nureyev swiftly from behind even her greeting is quiet.

The morning goes on like that for a while. Juno makes breakfast for everyone and Rita tells Nureyev in a hushed voice about the stream she watched yesterday after he went to sleep about a secret coven of witch minotaurs who are also electricians and who called themselves elecwitchians. Nureyev follows along but doesn't engage or respond. He remembers her saying that she appreciated that he listened. Isn't sure how to feel about it given that his constant listening to those around him is a defence mechanism borne of needing to know who may turn on him at any time, though he supposes that if she got something out of it then perhaps it doesn't matter why he does it. Rita is only halfway through her retelling of the four hour special when Buddy enters the kitchen wearing a silk robe and a weary smile.

Nureyev's heart stutters in his chest when he sees her. He remembers the feeling in his poison-fogged brain of wanting to tell her everything, of feeling as though he had been melted down by the toxin and that in his liquid state he could slip through the cracks of his own skin and finally bare his soul to her. He feels a phantom grip on his hands, the memory of her strong fingers seared into the nerves of his own. Nureyev had clung to her like a desperate child refuses to let go of his mother and he is suddenly certain that her words to him over the last two days were just a facade to keep the desperate creature still. That now he has regained his own body and mind she will lock him up or send him away or worse. He is so sure of this all the way up until she leans down into his space and kisses his forehead.

"Good morning, Peter," she says, putting a hand to his cheek for just a moment.

At this angle, with her head tilted down to look at him, he can see all of her face. The dead skin and mechanical eye do not phase him though, it is the soft tilt to the brow and the warm quirk of her lips that has him staring in shock. He shakes himself out of it after only a moment. He is no longer beholden to the poison and he has no excuse for not pulling himself together.

"Good morning, Captain," he says in reply. His voice is cracked and strange from the crying and then the long hours of sleep but no one comments.

"Surely by now you can use my name, darling," Buddy jokes and Nureyev huffs the smallest laugh.

"Of course, Buddy."

She steps back and Vespa takes her place almost immediately. Nureyev hadn't even noticed her enter the kitchen but given his distraction and her skills that's hardly cause for concern. She comes forward and takes his wrist, checking his heart rate and then placing a hand to his head to check his temperature. She is much more gentle than she has ever been with him before. Nureyev must pass whatever test she is conducting because she does not hustle him off to the infirmary or insist that he sleep again. Instead she leans back against the table and crosses her arms. Jet arrives then, his hulking form slouches comfortably towards the bench and finally the entire family is assembled. A family that Nureyev is apparently a part of.

"Speaking of names," Vespa says gruffly, breaking Nureyev out of his thoughts, "you ever gonna tell us yours?"

"Hey, Vespa, he doesn't have t-"

"Peter Nureyev."

He says it without thinking, but it feels right after all of the other secrets he’s told to share this one too. Silence falls. 

Juno, dear sweet Juno, so quick to rise to Nureyev's defence, stares in shock for only a moment. Then his face morphs into a picture of pride and love and Nureyev decides that no matter what reaction he gets from anyone else it will have been worth it to say just to receive that look from him. When he looks to the others he finds that Juno is not the only one who thinks that pride is the right response. Rita is beaming at him, tears in her eyes and her hands clasped together at her chest. Jet has the same little quirk of the lip that he usually only gets for Juno and Rita.

Buddy sits down at the table across from Nureyev and she reaches out her hand along the tabletop. Not far enough that Nureyev has to reach for it lest he risk making things uncomfortable, just enough to know that he could extend his own hand and take it if he wanted. He doesn't need it right now but he dips his head in thanks for that offer. Then he looks to Vespa, the one who has the least reason to trust him and the most likely to recognise that name. She looks confused. Nureyev doesn't know what about, but he waits for her to make a move, to say something.

"You must have been seventeen at most," Vespa says eventually.

"Thereabouts."

"Well shit." A pause, then "Guess Buddy was right about you after all."

Nureyev doesn't know how to feel about that. He doesn't really know what Buddy has said about him and what parts were supposedly right, but Vespa is not forthcoming and Nureyev has no interest in fighting with her. She hasn't immediately labelled him a terrorist or insisted that he be killed or imprisoned. That's enough for now. Nureyev quirks a half smile in Vespa's direction, still too tired to put on the whole song and dance of Peter Ransom, and fairly certain now that it wouldn't be welcome anyway. She grunts and sits down at the table. Juno and Jet come to join them as well with the breakfast Juno had been making, Juno makes up a plate for Nureyev so that he doesn't have to reach across the table. It has all his favourites, his  _ real _ favourites, and Nureyev cannot help a small besotted grin.

"We must begin our plans to neutralise Capital Health. The sooner the better. Ransom is not safe until we have dealt with them." Jet says solemnly over his toast. The others nod along but Nureyev still doesn't quite feel right about it.

"Are you all  _ certain _ you want to do this? This is no small task and it will have effects that we cannot predict," Nureyev asks. He hates how small his voice is, how childish and lost it sounds, but at present his choices are dignified  _ or _ honest. He cannot have both.

"Darling, we made our minds up already, we're sure," Buddy says. 

Her tone is warm and soothing and Nureyev wonders how long he will be able to fully recall the way that soft vibration travelled from her chest into his own as she held him through his tears. Wonders if he wants that time to be short, or if he never wants it to end.

"I don't even know where to start. I meant it when I said I had no ideas on how to begin t-"

"We will find something together," Buddy soothes. "You're a better thief than I am, Peter Nureyev, but you are not better than the both of us combined. Nor are the two of us better than the family as a whole. We can do this together, and not one of us is going to let you suffer alone anymore."

Around him the whole family shows their agreement, with a nod or a gesture. Under the table, Juno slides his leg so that it presses against Nureyev's, offering the comfort of touch that had been so foreign to him before he began life aboard this ship. Nureyev takes a deep breath, this one to calm himself rather than to stifle any sound for fear of being heard and berated. The tension bleeds out of his shoulders and the rest of them take that as their cue to continue.

Voices rise over the table with ideas and thoughts and, as a family, they plan.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you liked that. IF YOU DID then get hype because I have decided this will be a series where I explore some of the dynamic changes in the aftermath of *gestures above* all that. If you have any requests for specific things you want to see PLEASE let me know in the comments I will probably do it I need so much crime fam comfort goodness. 
> 
> Also even if you don't have a suggestion leave a comment if u like I will love u forever. <3


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